is my Trade Tripper column for the last Friday-Saturday issue of BusinessWorld for 2012:
The new year is approaching. This would
therefore be a good time to re-evaluate certain important things: such
as one’s drink of choice. Inasmuch as I’d like to order martinis the
problem is twofold -- one can’t or it’s almost impossible to find a
decent martini in the Philippines. Also, martinis nowadays are as
pedestrian as a Harvard degree. So I’ve decided to switch to Gibsons.
Now if you think that there’s no difference between a martini
and a Gibson, you’d be right. Actually, you’re not. In any event, who
cares? Order a martini if you’re an ANC watching, James Robinson forum
attending (even if you don’t understand his book), Catholic but still
pro-RH, and philosophy spouting in a party kind of chucklehead.
Cantabrigians and Oxonians, however, would correctly go for Lagavulin or
Ardbeq. I’d go for a Gibson.
Incidentally, the article last week ("A very significant announcement," BusinessWorld,
Dec. 21, 2011) was not based on this writer’s imaginings, much as I’d
like to take credit for it. The details were culled from various
sources, amongst which are the visions of Anne Catherine Emmerich, the
non-canonical gospel according to James, historians’ account of the
environment and economy of Nazareth, and -- of course -- the Gospels
according to Sts. Mathew and Luke. There was another article I’d
recommend: "Olaf, the Other Reindeer" (originally published in 2009),
which was indeed written with too much distilled potato juice in the
Speaking of idiocy, the RH Bill would most likely be law as of this
writing (or soon thereafter). How people could support such a measure
considering that contraceptives are actually and always has been legally
available, at prices cheaper than cellphone loads, is beyond me. They
must have had some serious childhood trauma to actually support the RH
Bill just to spite the Catholic Church (which will never go away,
anyway). Smart people take this piece of advice from Archbishop Charles
Chaput: "If you’re Catholic and you disagree with your Church, what do
you do? You change your mind." But leading advocates of the Bill are
essentially from our old, rich families anyway so I guess lack of
intelligence is a given.
Speaking of lack of intelligence, Germany’s Merkel has a Phd in physics,
UK’s Cameron is an Etonian and (unfortunately) Oxonian, US’ Obama is
expectedly a Harvard guy, Indonesia’s Yudhoyono studied at the US Army
Command and General Staff College and Webster University, Malaysia’s
Najib Razak has an industrial economics degree from Nottingham,
Singapore’s Lee is a Cantabrigian (as all truly smart people are),
India’s Singh is an Oxbridge man, and Thailand’s Yingluck Shinawatra has
a master’s degree in public administration from Kentucky State. But of
course, we have the most prepared and best of all possible leaders in
Noynoy, and this is shown in his soaring popularity and satisfaction
ratings. I’m sure those affected by Pablo are utterly grateful that he
is at this country’s helm.
And more downers: I’ve finally had it with PLDT. It’s incredible how a
phone provider could be so mean towards its customers. Even if you’re
not remiss in paying phone bills, yet mere delays in payments, perhaps
due to PLDT’s check payment policy, and your internet services would be
suddenly cut off. Well I’ve had it and shifted to Globe, which so far
we’re happy with. Unfortunately, the same problem goes for Meralco. Make
the mistake of a one day delay in payment, which can happen as their
billing is given close to the deadline, then you get a written threat of
having your electricity cut off. Think of it: their repairmen are
always nowhere to be found in cases of calamity but their disconnection
people are incredibly determined workaholics. Idiots.
Turning to more cheerful matters, the people of Liliw, Laguna have to be
truly congratulated. It’s a clean, cheerful, bustling town, with one of the
most beautiful (interior and exterior wise) churches in the country.
Huge credit must go to parish priest Fr. Philip Atienza, who
unfortunately is being transferred from his post this coming January. He
celebrates Mass as it should be celebrated: solemn, quiet, orderly. The
only other place one could find such Masses are at Stella Orientis in
UA&P. In any event, I’d like to thank the good people of the lovely
Balay Celina, particularly former Mayor and Mrs. Polistico, as well as
Lassie, Marinel, and Nida. The fact that they have such well trained and
competent staff speaks well of their employer and Liliw was lucky to
have had such an official as their mayor.
For my smart readers, I urge you to catch The Five on cable, as well as buy the book The Joy Of Hate by Greg Gutfeld. To see what a real president is like, do watch Lincoln starring the greatest actor ever: Daniel Day-Lewis.
And if you disagree with anything I wrote here, then you sir are worse than Hitler.
Happy New Year.